Caveat and trigger warnings: Talk of depression, feeling suicidal, also I am fully aware that this does not apply to every depressed person out there, so if you choose to reblog, please feel free to add why my examples might not work for you. And what might work for you. Or don’t. Nobody is obliged to explain or justify their feelings. And please, let me know if this is hugely problematic in any way. Thanks.
So, Robin Williams. I’m still at a loss of words. We pretty much all are, I guess. And yet, there’s been so much talk. About the sadness of the funny. About how someone who seems to have it all still takes their own life. About mental illness and more specifically, depression. So. Much. Talk.
And it’s made me so incredibly angry.
Because it’s always just talk, isn’t it? And it always happens after the fact. All those cries to be kinder to each other, to pay attention to one another, to taske care of your loved ones and be nicer to strangers - they only ever happen after we lose someone. And then, a few days later, we’re all back to our “normal”, cynical selves. Here’s an example, a bad one maybe, but still: Today, I was wondering why Spanish soccer player Fernando Torres was a trending topic on Twitter. Turns out he’s had a sucky preseason and somebody made a compilations of his missed chances at scoring. Which was being shared, shared and overshared again.
Look, I get it. We all like to laugh at failure if it’s not our own, don’t we? (I try not to. I try.) And I’m not saying Fernando Torres is suffering from depression or other mental health issues, I’m just saying when it comes to not kicking people when they’re down, our memory capabilities are, well … we put Dory to shame.
And of course it’s the same thing with news everywhere, we all should be caring about a lot more issues than we do, but it’s out of sight and out of mind, and I fear that this is exactly what will happen with the death of Robin Williams.
We all got up on our tables. Which was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. But now it’s time to climb back down and do something for those for whom it is not too late. Yet.
Reach out. Now. And I don’t mean the depressed, even though that’s the advice Robin himself gave on reddit. I want the non-depressed to reach out. I want you, I want us to look around and take note of the people in our lives that may need help. Some of us talk openly about our depression, others don’t - which is their prerogrative and don’t you dare question that. However, you know that there is someone among your loved ones that is down in the dumps right now. You know it. You do. And I am completely aware that talking to someone whose soul is in pain is one of the most difficult things in life. So many things could go wrong. Chances are they will. But still.
I don’t want you to go full-on intervention. I don’t want you to be a replacement therapist. You don’t even need to say anything.
Just do something. Bake a cake. Check their Amazon wishlist. Send a care package with, well, anything really. Send an e-mail, send a postcard, send a text. Offer a specific kind of help if you are certain they’d appreciate it. Look after the kids so they can get some time off. Ask them if they need anything if you’re going shopping anyway. Heck, even a cup of coffee might do, being able to sleep in, anything.
Just be careful: There is no Depression with a capital D, we are all different. Some of us, like me, hate it when they’re asked “Is there any way I can help?” or when people say “I’m here if you want to talk!”, because it puts the burden of decision on us, and having to decide something is a surefire way for me to get massively anxious when I’m depressed.
I know it’s hard that every depressed person is different and there are no miracle cures or tips that help all of us. But you know the people in your life that might need a little happiness right now. Put in a little effort and work out what might bring them a moment of joy without making them feel guilty because of their disease, without making them feel that they owe you something, without making them consider themselves a burden.
Not going to lie to you: You might not succeed. Like I said, every depressed person is different, and some of us can manage to turn every kindness into something we don’t deserve and feel bad about it (me again!). Don’t rely on what Google tells you are helpful hints to deal with someone suffering from depression. Because honestly, if I hear one more “You need to go outside more!” or “Exercise helps!” or any other suggestions one keeps finding on the internet, I am going to hulksmash something. I know these things. We know these things. But you’re placing a burden on someone who might already feel like the world’s pain is on their shoulders and like everyone would be better off without them.
But try. Please. Let us know our existence is not in vain. Let us know you care without expecting anything in return. Yes, “we are all loved”. But how about showing that it’s not just a phrase, once in a while, simply because you want to?
Reach out. Now. Thank you.
(And do it again in the future. Not just when somebody dies.)
she was special and unique because unlike other girls she read a book and drank a tea and didnt talk about a clothes
young adult authors everywhere
#And she was an old soul who raised herself, also her eyes were deep pools
#And she didn’t wear makeup but it was okay because she had flawless skin anyway
The Rumblr’s in-house astrologer, Madame Clairevoyant, presents her latest dispatch from the stars:
Aries: This is a week for letting your ideas breathe; this is a week for thinking out loud. This is a week for letting your secret projects and plans out into the world, for letting them stretch their legs, for letting them come alive in the sunlight. Talk through your thoughts with other people. Let your friends show you the things you don’t see; let them show you new ways your brain can move. Try to be brave, try to be generous, and your thoughts can sparkle, they can glow, they can light your way.
Taurus: This can be a week for making choices, a week for narrowing your focus, a week for remembering that your time and your attention and your life are your own. You don’t have to spread your energy all across the world; you don’t have to give of yourself every time someone asks. You can stop listening to the people who don’t care about you. You can choose what to do with your own days. You can speak your needs out loud. You can listen to your favorite song as many times in a row as you want.
Gemini: This is a week for dreaming about motion; this is a week for dreaming about flight. This week you can get unstuck from whatever has been holding you in place, and it will feel like you can move through the sky, like you can move through your days, like you’re made of light. You can believe, just for now, that there are no limits on the range of motion available to you. You can believe that everything will always be this easy, that everything will always be okay. Call somebody you miss. Write letters full of bright love.
Cancer: You can feel the winds shifting this week, you can feel change in the air, you can feel the stars calling out to you at night. The possibilities of your life can open up. You can imagine your way into so many futures and so many lives. This week you can move like light, you can move like sound, you can move like a dream. You don’t have to be solid, you don’t have to be sure, you don’t have to know quite what you’re doing. It’s okay to live in possibilities, for now.
Leo: When your world gets most strange this week, when you need it most, you can find bright fire buried deep in your heart. You can find a little bit of darkness, you can find a little bit of steely trust in your own self. You can find energy that feels like a forest, you can find energy that feels like the sea, you can find energy that can carry you through anything. You can stand up for yourself, you can believe in your own face in the mirror, you can be so generous with your love.
Virgo: It might be easy to get frustrated this week, it might be easy to get impatient, it might be easy to feel like your own life is moving too slowly. Try to be patient, even when you want everything all at once. You have so much time. You won’t get left behind and you won’t get stuck. There are stories that can unfold slowly, there are stories so full of texture and sweetness and light, there are stories that can unfold in stranger ways than you can predict. Keep moving, keep living, keep your eyes open.
Libra: This week you can feel so present in your own skin. You can feel your feet on the ground, you can feel the air on your face, you can hear the song of the world in your ears. You can feel peace if you need peace, you can feel strength if you need strength, you can come into your own. You can find yourself in storms, you can find yourself in mountains, you can find yourself in sweet foggy air. Try to be gentle with the people you care about. Try to be tender with your own self.
Scorpio: This week you can find your power, you can find your center, you can find your balance again in this weird shaky world. Walk through the streets of your city watch all the life all around you, watch the buildings and the faces and the trees and the concrete. You can be strong enough to get so wild. Listen to the songs that remind you of the rhythm of your own body. Listen to the songs that remind you of your bright voice. Listen to the songs that remind you what your own best confidence feels like.
Sagittarius: This is a week for stretching your muscles, it’s a week for testing your abilities, it’s a week for taking the wildest flying leaps you can manage. This is a week for doing the things you don’t yet know how to do. You can learn how to move by moving, you can learn how to live by living, you can learn how to speak by speaking. You don’t have to wait for anything. You don’t need permission. You can imagine the life you want into being. You can work magic, just by trying.
Capricorn: This week, hard work can keep your head clear and your blood flowing. This week, you can get a little lost in the projects that you care about. You can write the stories you need to read, you can sing the songs you need to hear, you can see the world you need taking shape around you. If you keep moving, your vision will be clear and your sleep can be sweet. You can follow the golden stars above your head, you can follow the lights of the city around you, you can follow your own heartbeat home.
Aquarius: If you start to doubt yourself this week, if you forget what you’re doing or where you’re trying to go, try to trust other people. Try not to stay stuck in your own room, even when it feels hard to go outside. Try not to stay stuck in your own head, even when your own voice sounds like tin in your ears. You can call your friends, you can make food for them, you can sit with them on porches and in parks. You can let the people who care about you call you back to yourself.
Pisces: This is a week for talismans and charms, this is a week for wearing your softest shirts, this is a week for eating the foods you like most. This is a week for magic you can touch and magic you can see and magic you can carry in your pocket. There’s so much floating through the world, so much movement, so much strangeness, so much feeling, that it’s easy to get a little lost. Try to anchor yourself to the physical world however you can. Let it guide you through your days, let it guide you through your dreams.
Today’s image was made specially for Madame Clairevoyant by Jen May.
my virgo horoscope is spot-on for this week so far. (deep breaths)
Pisces. Somebody lend me an anchor.